Hail to the King Baby!
How old are you? Yes you sitting right there. Chances are if you’re over 30 you may know who Duke Nukem is. Chances are if you’re under 30 you will know soon enough. The last time Duke Nuken was released was in 1996 as Duke Nukem 3D. Duke is the original BA, he is all the bad Â stereotypes rolled into one gum chewing cigar smoking foul mouthed overall TV-MA Dude. He’s big and musclebound and a whole lot of fun to watch. if your easily offended he isn’t for you. If the kiddies are around please bookmark it and come back later, this one is for the Adults.
So who is he?
He’s a male Â chauvinistic Â pig with Old school Â Arnold Â style body, a filthy mouth, a rather voracious sexual appetite and the newest old video game character to grace the console wars. He only does one thing well and that is kick alien can! This game is a long time coming, between developers going out of Â business, games getting Â canceled, Wired even crowned Duke the King of all vaporware. Â Since it was first announced… in 1997, this game has gone 14 years in Â development.
I was 16 when the last game came out. Kids who are in college right now would have been around 5… let that sink in, one of the baddest dudes to ever walk the digital ground hasn’t been seen in several console generations.
Delays and other world events pushed this game back time and time again. Â But the game just went gold, which for those of you not in the Â business Â means it is being printed on tons of tiny little disks and shipping to game stores everywhere, right NOW. This game will actually be released on Â June 14th, 2011.
Duke is a guilty pleasure, there is no way that a guy with a family, and a nice neat little job and a child safe family friendly podcast should ever enjoy this game, let alone wait with baited breath, but man oh man am I waiting. I can’t wait to throw down with some insane guns, ugly alien hordes, massive battles, walk into strip clubs blowing urinals off the wall with a shotgun… why because I can. The game is a Â tongue Â in cheek poke at every last action hero that ever walked, it is a walking Â trash talking stereotype that will blow your minds up like they were sweet sweet bubblegum, except we’re all outta gum. Only one thing left to do.
The game will come in three flavors for the normal users. Xbox, PC, and PS3. But for the Hard Core Fan there will also be Balls of Steel, collectors editions released as well.
Regular Can of Whoopass
A 6 Pack of Whoopass
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