Boys will be boys until they get to be men, then they get to be whatever they want. Or at least we like to think so. Most of the time however the results of large groups of guys getting together is neither as altruistic as some some of the previous efforts, nor as impressive. So we are left to wonder as to what happens the other 99.% of the time men congregate. Well sometime they get creative, sometimes they get a bit drunk and sometimes both at the same time. Tipsy thinking or Thinsing as I like to call it has a habit of creating some of the worlds wackiest ideas. So This article is dedicated to those men who though outside of the box, but apparently well inside of a bottle to come up with these gems.
Now before we go any further I can see the heat rising off of the collective brow of our women listeners as I speak of inventions of men, and manly type things. There are two reasons you are being excluded from the rest of the article. First off, projects that have a woman involved generally show a bit more sense then some of the ones below. I like to believe the eye roll is a defensive tactic to protect women from the consequences of what a man, unchecked may attempt. Secondly, I honestly have no idea what goes on in your closed door meets you hold in the bathrooms. For all i know you could have the cure for cancer, and according to comic Richard Jeni they have the cure for baldness as well. Now this is well tread comic turf so I ask that I ask that you kindly fill in the women are superior, bathroom group, odd ritual takes too long to get ready, punch line here. Thank you.
Pumpkin chuckin: where else could the fine art of gardening turn into a ballistic nightmare. A hellish aerial assault on good sense. Unfortunately I missed an opportunity to go last year. I’ll definitely try and make it this go around
Power Tool Drag racing: Competition is not lost upon the good men who work with power tools. But rather than compete in a match of skill, a throw down of mental metal, these competitors let their tools do the talking for them…
Trampoline + Basketball = Separated Shoulder: I’m not sure what to say about this sport, it involved trampolines, Pat Croce, and basketball. How awesome does that sound? Ok ignore the treat of impending doom that could await you at the bottom of each thunderous bounce, and ignore the competitors trying to guide your graceful arc out of their way, preferably into a hazard, sandtrap, or tar pit… Just kidding.
How to kill yourself in three easy steps: Not really a sport per say but rather an activity which could also be labled as mechanically assisted suicide. Take a Pogo Stick, channel the spirit of Tim the Tool Man Taylor, & Evil Knievel. There you go. Be sure to up on your shots, sacraments, taxes, and life insurance policy before attempting. Then enjoy for the next 4 seconds of your life
Lastly But certainly not least we have a couple real world Sports stories, slightly off beat as per usual but non the less they deserve to be included in this throw down. {Snip via the Travel Mug } What do you get when you cross a murder with a die hard football fan? Well a Raiders Fan of course! The only thing I can say is at least he wasn’t an Eagles Fan, then we would all be linked to Murderers. We only do one of the following,
- Throw snowballs at, and boo Santa
- Cheer for injuries
- Boo soon to be star players
- Throw batteries at stars who snubbed us.
Throw a couple snowballs decades ago and your labeled. Cleavland threw Beer Bottles… and they get nothing. We here in Eagles nation love part of our image we only seriously wish that people would come up with better filler when writing about our follies. Snowballs, Santa and booing Irving are all off limits as of right now. Batteries are fair game, that guy was a punk, and it happened about 4 years ago.
And At long last a gem that recently came across the desk here at the CaffiNation, a sports related story to be sure but in a very positive light . Paterno Cleans Up this Town! Rather than let his group of young men run rampant on the town perpetuating the student athlete god like status that exists on many campus’ JoePa throws down some serious discipline, on the whole team. Way to go Joe
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Join us tomorrow for the next installment of Spring has sprung. We are working on a 5 part series chock full of Technology News, and coupled with we hope humerus commentary. It should brake down like this. After the last Installment we will be updating this section with links.
Springtime has Sprung
- Water Warfare
- Get Fit or Die Trying
- New Sports Or guys with too much time on their hands
- Refreshments: The Real Iced Coffee, & Other Fun Drinks
- Refreshments: I like to Cook
~Stay Caffeinated People!