Hail to the King Baby!

So the game  among  games has debuted and we are left here standing atop the smoldering rubble of fourteen years, three  ( plus ) game studios, and a crazy development cycle. Now that the game is out, and in consoles everywhere. it almost feels like we should put the delay to bed. It has been mentioned… and the wait is now over. But the delay and the players involved did cause some game decisions to be made. The final developer Gearbox tried to stay as true to the original vision of the game as possible.

I firmly believe that you cannot make a perfect game, on purpose. Games are perfect because they have attention to detail, easy controls and predictable outcomes for the use of those controls, ie no glaring weakness in making the game play work. Games also need to be released at the proper time, this is not an indictment of anything but if a genre is popular you go with that look and feel. Could you imagine releasing a similar game to the Original Guitar hero right now? No, people want more instruments, more control. Does it make that game better or worse? No, but it can affect what people expect it to be.

Duke Nukem Forever is a great game, it is a very entertaining game. It is not a game meant for right now, with open battlefields, advanced crouching mechanics, intricate in-game interactions ect. It is a game where you blow things up and make silly jokes. You kill final Bosses and you smoke a cigar. You may very well visit a strip club, have a couple beers and eat some popcorn. And I missed this kind of game, i love boss fights. I hate snipers, and I really and  truly  have the sense of  humor  of a 15year old boy some days.

The Good:

A breath of fresh air. Duke Nukem Forever is a game I love playing but i never touched it before. I love games in this genre, blow things up go in guns blazing and don’t worry about the tiny details. The bosses are HUGE, the jokes are dirty and so are the women. Quite  literally  I don’t think there is a single level without some type of off color reference joke or quip. The game made good on my expectations in this regard. From front to back this is the Most Duke Nukem you have ever seen, and he is just as much of a Badass as you think he would be.

The controls are  intuitive  and simple. The guns are epic and fun to play with. I only wish you could hold more than 2 at a time. because i love having the shotgun, i quite simply can’t drop it.

And you  know  what else is missing from  today’s  shoot em ups? Puzzles! That is right Duke Nukem has  stretches  of the game where you need to solve a physics puzzle, move things around or navigate a crazy landscape just to continue. The obstacles  are unavoidable and quite fun.

The Bad:

Fun Gameplay aside, the load times are annoying and a bit long even on the 360. For as short as the  different  segments are, the load times are about 20 – 30 seconds in between scenes or deaths. I don’t know what technical problem this is a result of, but I really hope that maybe someone just forgot to carry the one in some equation somewhere and a software update can fix it. Because if the load times were shorter the game would run a whole lot better.

The only other detractor I have seen is in the 2 player game. I love having friends over, doing a split screen and killing some people online or even in a head to head match. Duke has multiplayer, but no split screen, so it was a little  disappointing.

The Ugly:

Loads of ugly Aliens! And by ugly I mean that while I don’t look for crystal sharp crystal clear graphics all the time there is a button on the controller for zooming in, to aim or look a bit into the distance. When you use it the picture is fuzzy… It just seemed a bit off.

The Conclusion:

I love the game, but I understand it for what it is./ It is a concept game from a differernt era when baddies didn’t have really massivly challenging AI, bosses were huge and the guns went boom. There is absolutly nothing like a shotgun and a cold beer IN a game to make a level seem just right! Should you buy it? Well if you loved Duke then I would suggest a trip down memory lane. If you haven’t played and Duke Nukem before I would still give it a shot. it isn’t the most innovative game, it isn’t the most eye popping, nor complex. But man alive is it fun. From start to finish the game is one long explosion.

This ame had to be made, enough work had gone into it that it had to be made and had to be made now. And now that that dev cycle is over we hope that the team does more. In fact now we expect more, a more modern duke would be Sweet!


How do I rate this game? Well since we rate games with a bean scale around here i give it 3.5 beans out of 5. A good solid game from a bygone genre and style that is missing from today’s lineup.

Duke is a guilty pleasure, there is no way that a guy with a family, and a nice neat little job and a child safe family friendly podcast should ever enjoy this game, let alone wait with bated breath, but man oh man am I waiting. I can’t wait to throw down with some insane guns, ugly alien hordes, massive battles, walk into strip clubs blowing urinals off the wall with a shotgun… why because I can. The game is a  tongue  in cheek poke at every last action hero that ever walked, it is a walking  trash talking stereotype that will blow your minds up like they were sweet sweet bubblegum, except we’re all outta gum. Only one thing left to do.

Kick a little Ass and Find some gum.

The game will come in three flavors for the normal users. Xbox, PC, and PS3. But for the Hard Core Fan there will also be Balls of Steel, collectors editions released as well.

Regular Can of Whoopass

A 6 Pack of Whoopass

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